Goodbye to the Outsider

Change happens all the time whether you want it to or not. I, for example, am already 30 seconds older than when I started to type this sentence. It also needs to be said that change can involve both a process and a result and that some people like the latter but not the former. Fortunately for me, I love change. In fact, I get bored without it. What is also important is whether or not you have any say in that change.

At which point, I return to the changes that have taken place in my life over the past few months; some of which have been quite fundamental and the outcomes, unexpected and very rewarding. So much so that I feel that I need to write about them.

Now I think that the reason I like change is that it was the template for my early years; indeed, they were defined by it, usually with results that weren’t particularly beneficial. Furthermore, this creation of a need for such change led to actions in my adult life that had a negative impact rather than the positive ones that I imagined were the case. So what has changed?

Well, a great deal actually, in small, subtle but significant ways. Indeed the fact that they were such has meant that they have rather sneaked up on me. An important one of which has been my view of myself as an outsider along with the behaviour that that feeling generated. The problem was that I rather relished that status even though I could see the dynamics that that threw up in my dealings with others.

Well, not any longer. I was at a professional association committee meeting this week and, for the first time, felt that I was actually a part of it and not excluded. Not that I ever was, I just felt that way.

So, my thanks to those involved who, it seems, weren’t even aware of what was going on; this change not only feels right but also very comfortable. Mind you, I will miss that outsider.


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