I tend not to prevaricate a great deal. Yes, I may my research first but then I usually hold my nose and jump. By that time, I’ve some idea of what I’m getting into, so action seems to me to be the appropriate response. Unless, of course the external circumstances have changed in the interim and, even then, these shouldn’t be allowed to get in the way. Those who know me well will tell you that that has been the pattern to my life. Whether it was making the best of a divorce, handing in my notice and becoming a single parent student, being unemployed, being dropped in at the deep end in failing charities and rescuing them, running marathons or writing books, it has served me in good stead.
However, there are circumstances under which I don’t do something that I really need to get on and do and this week has been one such time. So, I’ve done what I always do in these cases and just got on with and, guess what? What I’d put off doing wasn’t the onerous and difficult task that I’d built it up to be. In fact, it was relatively easy. Moreover, the result, a profile of myself, has been better than I’d expected. Not really a problem as words are my stock in trade.
So how do I know that there is something in myself that creates this situation and what is this fear that I feel, all about? Well, like, I suspect, many speakers, I find self publicity difficulty. In fact, I find it embarrassing. And, for me, embarrassment is one of my worst fears. In combination with another of my quirks, that of knowing inside, that I am quite capable while not really believing it, make for a powerful inhibitor. An antidote to which is to feel the fear and do it anyway, but I guess you knew that anyway.