Last week I wrote of the laws of unintended consequences; something I return to today. Well, life can, indeed, be full of such matters and like, I suspect, the rest of the population, I deal with them as and when they occur. Furthermore, I relish change and am actually very good at dealing with life’s vicissitudes, having had more than my fair share of them. Unfortunately, however, one of the ways that I did this has now come back to, somewhat, bite me on the bum. Critically, that way wasn’t an “add on” but was central to the way I managed my life. At which point, something by way of explanation might help.
You see, those uncertainties created in me a need to make certain those things which weren’t necessarily so. Indeed, I can remember arguing, almost, that black was white in pursuance of these. Rather silly examples have included a tendency to dislike some types of music until I actually listened to them more and found that I actually liked them. Van Morrison, a firm favourite, once came under this category; until, that is, I was given a copy of Astral Weeks! Friends of mine may well remember some of those occasions, especially after a few drinks when I would dig my heels in over something that I needed to feel right about. Acknowledging that I might be wrong didn’t come easily.
Well, thankfully, those days are well on their way out; with the result that I try to deal with things on their merits. I thinks it’s called growing up. However, one of the side effects of all this is having to deal with the considerable uncertainties of everyday life in a world that has more grays than the black and white that I used to reduce things to. Moreover to do this without creating an artificial certainty.
The outcome of all this is that I’m learning to deal with the sense of emotional discomfort that this creates in me. So right now, I’m in rather unknown territory. Fortunately, however, I have a map and a compass forged from a lifetime of experience. These will serve me in good stead while I try to deal with the landscape of greater contentment I now inhabit. Something that I hope will continue for a very long time.