Monthly Archives: May 2017

“Well Done” Will Get the Best Response

Hi Mike,

I’ve been busy…reading your book!! Finished it this evening. Brilliant. There are so many parts I loved – how you talk about the Saturday match ritual, the players and your relationship with other clubs. One phrase came to mind as I was reading early on, and it didn’t leave me all the way through to the end, and it’s this; your book is like a love letter to the beautiful game, and in particular to your lifelong love, Spurs. I said it a few days ago, you’re an incredible writer.

Now, like many other people, I find praise a little embarrassing and somewhat difficult to handle. How are you supposed to respond? However, when an extremely valued friend sends you an e mail like that, you are bound to take notice. How I did it, in this case, was to sit in front of the computer a little lost for words. Just as well, as I work from home on my own. Since then, however, all I can say is that it has given me a warm glow of satisfaction. That recognition from others that you have a talent; for being a wordsmith. That has spurred me on to finish the manuscript asap; something I’m now doing.

Which brings me round to that other great acquisition that you need in life, which is luck. In my case, the latter coming from the fact that Spurs have finished above Arsenal for the first time in 22 years, thus justifying the title of the book, “Why Don’t You Just Support Arsenal, the Life and Times of a Spurs’ Supporter”. This was a comment, some years ago, from Gaynor, my wife, when I came back from seeing them lose, once again, while Arsenal had just won, once again.

So, thank you, Gaynor, for that opportune title and your unending support and to Mike Blissett, for the encouraging words; proving, what I’ve long believed, that “Well Done Will Always Get the Best Response”.

Carrot or Stick?

When it comes to any discussion on motivation, even though I’m aware that some people might respond to the occasional stick, I’m more of a carrot person myself. In this I’m at one, I think, with anyone who really knows anything about people. Even Sir Alex Ferguson, renowned for his reported “hair dryer” treatment of players is quoted as saying that “Well done” always got the best response.

In my case the difference for me was highlighted by the 12 years I spent in the army, where any love that was shown tended to be towards the tougher end of the spectrum. Yet within 7 years of leaving and my first forays into community activism, I found myself doing things that I’d previously only dreamt about; and being rather good at it. Something that I hadn’t hereto experienced. Years later, I realised that those people saw more in me than I saw in myself and that they trusted me. More than that, they expected of me and I now realise that I thrive under those circumstances. Indeed, I’d go so far as to say that it’s no coincidence that those early days, in the mid 1970’s in Harrogate, have led me to where I am now. Not that it’s been easy but, as my lovely wife says, “Your perseverance is amazing”. Interestingly, I don’t see any of it as perseverance but just the need to keep going. After all, is there any alternative?

Well, that “keeping going” is finally starting to pay real dividends for me. You see, for many years I never thought that I’d ever write a book. Yet here I am with the draft of book 4 completed, at a rather opportune time. You see, I knew that I could write a good fundraising letter or a report but a book? It was the difference between a 6 mile run and a marathon; a real step up in terms of effort. Well, I did that twice during my middle 50’s; 3 hours 46 minutes for the first one and a little over 4 hours a year later (please excuse the boasting).

So what is all this leading to? Well, this week I e mailed that manuscript to a friend whose opinion I value. His comment that “You’re an incredible writer”, stopped me in my tracks. It was praise of the highest order and it spurred me on; once it sunk in. This person who didn’t believe so is, actually, quite a good writer. Who’d have thought it?

Yet that individual response is important as it can bear fruit on a broader scale. At which point, I have a question. Do those who run the country really believe that the best results are achieved by penalising those who already experience hardship while rewarding those who don’t ? Well it doesn’t and that’s something to the detriment of the whole country. No wonder there seems to be real pessimism in the air. Give me the carrot any day.

Carrot or Stick?

When it comes to any discussion on motivation, even though I’m aware that some people might respond to the occasional stick, I’m more of a carrot person myself. In this I’m at one, I think, with anyone who really knows anything about people. Even Sir Alex Ferguson, renowned for his reported “hair dryer” treatment of players is quoted as saying that “Well done” always got the best response.

In my case the difference for me was highlighted by the 12 years I spent in the army, where any love that was shown tended to be towards the tougher end of the spectrum. Yet within 7 years of leaving and my first forays into community activism, I found myself doing things that I’d previously only dreamt about; and being rather good at them. Something that I hadn’t hereto experienced. Years later, I realised that those people saw more in me than I saw in myself and that they trusted me. More than that, they expected of me and I now realise that I thrive under those circumstances. Indeed, I’d go so far as to say that it’s no coincidence that those early days, in the mid 1970’s in Harrogate, have led me to where I am now. Not that it’s been easy but, as my lovely wife says, “Your perseverance is amazing”. Interestingly, I don’t see any of it as perseverance but just the need to keep going. After all, is there any alternative?

Well, that “keeping going” is finally starting to pay real dividends for me. You see, for many years I never thought that I’d ever write a book. Yet here I am with the draft of book 4 completed, at a rather opportune time. You see, I knew that I could write a good fundraising letter or a report but,a book? It was the difference between a 6 mile run and a marathon; a real step up in terms of effort. Well, I did that twice during my middle 50’s; 3 hours 46 minutes for the first one and a little over 4 hours a year later (please excuse the boasting).

So what is all this leading to? Well, this week I e mailed that manuscript to a friend whose opinion I value. His comment that “You’re an incredible writer”, stopped me in my tracks. It was praise of the highest order and it spurred me on; once it sunk in. This person who didn’t believe so is, actually, quite a good writer. Who’d have thought it?

Yet that individual response is important as it can bear fruit on a broader scale. At which point, I have a question. Do those who run the country really believe that the best results are achieved by penalising those who already experience hardship while rewarding those who don’t? Well it doesn’t and that’s something to the detriment of the whole country. No wonder there seems to be real pessimism in the air. Give me the carrot any day.

Back in the Suitcase

In the middle of the 1970’s, I moved to a rundown terraced house in Harrogate with my children to go back to college and start a new life as a single parent student. And what a life it has turned out to be. Yet, despite my personal achievements, I get up this morning to see a society experiencing some extremely difficult times. Indeed, just the difficult times that I spent many long hours discussing with friends when I first got involved in community activity and the environmental movement all those years ago. Then they were academic arguments, now, unfortunately, they are all too real.

Many of them were encapsulated in my final year’s thesis, dated December 1978, which was, somewhat pretentiously, entitled, “World in the Balance, The Rational Pursuit of Irrationality”. Typed on an old typewriter that I bought for the purpose, this morning I dug it out of an old suitcase and reread it. What struck me was, what I now recognise and without being too arrogant, the quality of the writing, even then. What also struck me is that there is little that I wrote about then that I would disagree with now, nearly 40 years later.

Much of my argument was about the building of a sustainable, stable society; things that would later form the basis of my first published book, “The Real Big Society”. At which point, I put the thesis back in the suitcase on the basis that I need to maintain my optimism and that, despite the evidence we now have, we appear to be as far away from that goal as we were then.

At which other point, I prepare for my new project with secondary school students who have their lives in front of them; that, and my family, sustain me.

The Need to Say Something

Today’s blog is driven by my need to say something about the way our country is being run or, rather, not run but merely left to the whim of the market. Something that, to me, makes no sense at all. If nothing else, it leaves our vital resources and our destiny in the hands of others, many of whom are foreign governments and/or international financiers and business people with agendas of their own. After all, if it’s fine, for example, for the Chinese and French governments to own parts of our utilities and infrastructure, why isn’t it fine for our own government to do the same?

Also, if we have a government that feels that it has no purpose other than to “let the market decide” then what do they think that they are in government for? Watching what is currently happening makes me feel that they’re intent on running, at full speed towards a large brick wall with no other thought than just to keep running? Lastly, can anyone of them please explain to me how our way of life is to be sustained? There seems to be no clear idea at all.

I’ve written previously of my love of what I see as this country’s culture, encapsulated in Billy Bragg’s song, “Between the Wars” with lyrics that refers to “Sweet moderation, heart of this nation”. Unfortunately, it seems to me that we’re now being governed by people who have little or no understanding of those in whose name they govern. Finally, in case you think that these are the ravings of someone who is bitter about being on the receiving end, well I’m not doing too badly at all. I just want my children and grandchildren to have a fair crack of the whip. Is that too much to ask?

Learning to Play

Some of my speaking colleagues have commented on the fact that I appear to have led more than one life whereas, to me, they’ve just been different facets of the same one. Yet, even I have to admit that there’s quite a disconnect between the life I led until I was 34 and the 40 years that followed. Indeed, that younger person would never have believed what this one is now doing; much as he dreamt about it. Yet, I still have things I want to do and challenges that I have to meet. Not so silly really as I plan to be around for long enough to do as many of them as I can.

Now, some of these are in areas that I already operate in, for example, writing and speaking. However, I intend for some of them to be in those areas in which I find myself inhibited for some reason. You see, it’s deep in that sub consciousness, where another self lies hidden; a place where also lie the problems that can be the most difficult to deal with. Yet, the change on the surface will probably be so small that no one else will notice. Any more than many of them noticed what has taken place since this adult first started to become the person that he wanted to be.

Said adult, you see, may be quite funny; however, essentially, he sees life as a very serious business which he has to analyse in order to understand and then change. And, there’s a small problem here, which is that some of the building blocks that others take as read are either absent or weren’t erected properly all those years ago; some of the software doesn’t operate as it should. Notably in the areas of letting others in and playing. These are a work in progress and you will note the use of the present tense there.

So, I’m learning to play and, in doing so, be easier on myself. Now there’s a first.

Helping the Next Generation

Many years ago when I was the Project Manager of Meanwood Valley Urban Farm in Leeds, I met a young volunteer in the cafe. He was, if nothing else, somewhat laid back. He commented on the fact that it would be a great place to work to which I responded that it took a great deal effort to create the little bit of Wonderland that he saw. In explaining this I likened it to a swan sailing across a lake. What may have looked serene and majestic on the surface took a lot of work from the legs underneath. Such is life.

The trouble now is that, not only are we far from the Wonderland that I still dream of, but that our government seems hell bent on making sure that the next generation has as little chance of creating one for themselves as possible. At which point, my response will be to try, in my own small way, to work harder in order to make some difference. Not enough, it has to be said and that is what makes me depressed. It is hard to witness a new generation for whom, even the basics of the life that mine took as read, will be difficult to achieve. And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, the road we are currently travelling seems to have been built to make that journey faster, almost without end, and with little hope of any meaningful destination, other than a brick wall.

Well, myself and another speaker and coach are about to start some work with 16/17 year olds in schools which we hope will help them in very practical ways to make their way in the world of work; notably by making them better equipped to get a job in the first place.

Watch this space.

It Doesn’t Have to be Winning at All Costs

Despite my age, I’m still an idealist. Hence, for years I’ve supported a team that has tried to play football with some style, if not always with substance. Yet, I’ve stuck with the concept that the ends don’t justify the means, even when those ends have meant supporting a team that has been, well, “Spursy”. To quote Roy Keane, “Spurs will always let you down”.

You see, in all the years that I’ve followed them, the club has tried to play football with some style, even when that has been at the cost of success. It’s also why, despite his present predicament, I’ve long had a soft spot for Professor Wenger and delighted in watching such players as Paul Gascoigne, Dimitar Berbatov, George Best and those other geniuses who made you doubt the evidence of your own eyes. Berbatov, I firmly believed, could slow down time, especially in the penalty area, Best treated obstacles, in the form of opposition players, as if they didn’t exist and Gascoigne was an utterly outrageous talent. I used to think that all of them originated from another planet and had been sent to earth just to show us what life could be like if we lifted our heads above the humdrum of our daily existence. Spurs, by the way, have had more than their fair share of these types of players. Indeed, they often built teams around such talented individuals and seemed to operate according to a reputed quote from Sir Matt Busby, the legendary manager of Manchester United, to the effect that his team talk was “Just give the ball to George”.

So, what’s brought all this about? Well three things actually. The first is that a young boxer called Anthony Joshua won the World Heavyweight Championship on Saturday night, beating a former champ and formidable opponent by a technical knockout. Moreover, the two of them fought with some style and manners while steadfastly refusing to engage in the badmouthing of one another that normally goes with these events. The second is that my beloved Spurs will, this season, finish above Arsenal in the Premiership for the first time in over 20 years and that they did this be beating their old adversaries on Sunday. Moreover, they have played all season with some style (albeit a little too cautiously for me at times); demonstrating, in the process, that winning need not be at all costs.

Finally, I’m now three quarters of the way through my book about Spurs and should finish it at a very opportune time.